$re = '/<actor=(?\'actor\'\w+)(?:\s(?\'k1\'\w+)(?:=(?\'v1\'\w+?|\'.+?\'))?)?(?:\s(?\'k2\'\w+)(?:=(?\'v2\'\w+?|\'.+?\'))?)?(?:\s(?\'k3\'\w+)(?:=(?\'v3\'\w+?|\'.+?\'))?)?(?:\s(?\'k4\'\w+)(?:=(?\'v4\'\w+?|\'.+?\'))?)?>(?:(?:(?\'content\'.+)<\/actor>(?\'extra\'.*))|(?\'contentonly\'.*))/s';
$str = '<actor=vencil lookat=beatrice enter transfer=vencil setconvo=\'Vencil 1\'>Vencil\'s speech</actor>Extra stuff';
preg_match_all($re, $str, $matches, PREG_SET_ORDER, 0);
// Print the entire match result
var_dump($matches);
Please keep in mind that these code samples are automatically generated and are not guaranteed to work. If you find any syntax errors, feel free to submit a bug report. For a full regex reference for PHP, please visit: http://php.net/manual/en/ref.pcre.php